Thanks for subscribing to me on Digg and befriending me on the new and improved MySpace! It really means a lot to me that you guys support me, which makes me feel like George W. Bush when he had near unanimous support after 9/11, ya know? Fuckin’ rock star over here!
So, I noticed some of you have been asking me questions about religion, and I just wanted to take a moment and answer them here: no, I’m not some crazy Bible-thumper and no, I don’t spend all day in a church lolollolol! I mean, is it so crazy that I’ve just accepted Jesus Christ as my personal lord and savior and I believe that the last 6,000 years have been really awesome? I don’t think so!
The other day I was reading some book by a guy named Darwin and I thought to myself, gee, this guy seems pretty swell and all, if only he would listen to the FACTS ya know?! I mean, it says it right there: God made everything, even the delicious carbohydrates I eat that help me lose weight, so why even bother trying to disprove it?
Sorry, my dog just walked all over my keyboard! So frickin’ silly. I mean, at least it beats having a smelly, stupid cat around the place, right? I mean, who wants to deal with them always begging for food and walking all over your stuff, am I right? Totally NOT adorbs!
The other day I saw two movies: The Hunger Games and Harry Potter: Prisoner of Azkahban and, forgive my language, but those movies would have been AWESOME if the casting hadn’t been SHIT. I mean, Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Watson? Who’s ever heard of these women? Not only were they not as pretty as their characters should have been, but they just seem fake, you know? Like, I saw some interviews with them in person and they just seem like more of those “fake Hollywood” types we keep seeing over and over. I mean, develop a personality or something, right?!?
On a sidenote – people need to stop trying to tell me that the JFK assassination, moon landing and 9/11 were faked. Wake up, people! The government told us everything we needed to know! Do you really think they’d lie about stuff like that?! The nerve of some people!
Anyway, I still have to write a blog about how Windows 8 is totally awesome and that it’s far superior to Windows 7. That reminds me: have you guys downloaded the new Internet Explorer update? It’s so awesome! This browser totally SCREAMS! And the new Bing features…man, it’s like I’m in heaven!
But anyway, thank you guys so much for reading my stuff. It’s really awesome. I have been reading your comments while I trying to watch Firefly (keyword: trying!!) and they have been super great. Seriously, cowboys in space? No wonder this show got cancelled!
Stay tuned for more updates, especially my next one where I reveal the names of some of the members of Anonymous and try to get federal charges pressed against them. You can’t just post information about sex offenders and expect to get away with it. This is a democracy, after all!
On a sidenote, I masturbate to My Little Pony a lot.